The new plan

So here's the new plan. I am not going to committ to ANY plan. You see, each time I do, everything falls apart.

For instance, last post I mentioned that I would run RTW today. Last night, however, my fate had a different agenda.

First I would be smart enough to smack my toes into the wall as I was attempting to step over the baby gate. Pain. Yes, lots of pain. But I picked myself up (literally) and finished baking the cookies. Later in the evening, I was smart enough to do the exact same thing to the exact same toes! Now how often does that happen?!? Seriously. I step over that gate probably 20 times a day. I've never done this. But last night, I manage to do it twice!!

I am still determined to run. I'll tape the stinkin' toes. I don't care about the pain, I have prescription strength Motrin!! I stick a nice frozen bag of peas and carrots on the toes, take some ibuprofen and prepare for the next morning. I laid out all of my clothes as is my typical ritual the night before a run. Then I went to bed. First I indulged in another episode of CSI: Season 3. Great show. Then off go the lights and I settle in for a bit of sleep. I seem to be having difficulty dropping off for some reason. I start asking myself why I am not falling asleep. At 2 am, dh comes to bed after staying up to wrap gifts and I'm still wide awake. Great. At 3 am, I give in to the insomnia and head downstairs to watch another episode of CSI. At 4:00 am, I decide I am sleepy enough to fall asleep so I move back to the bedroom. Finally, I fall asleep somewhere around 4:30.

Baby Boo wakes up at 7:00 and I jump up to retrieve him from his bed at which point I slam my already throbbing toes into the carpet (Yes, the carpet... I can't figure that one out!) and almost hit the floor again. Boo comes into bed with his hobbling mama and I succumb to the notion that I won't be making the RTW today. Dang.

So I won't be posting my plans anymore. At least not for awhile. I think I curse myself when I do. I'll just keep them in my head and surprise myself when I actually get to follow through.

Is this normal or do I need to consider therapy?