My Thanksgiving was lived out in such a surreal way yesterday. After so many weeks (seemed like years!) of not running, I was able to put my first "race" in the books. Of course, I was only racing against myself, not the true winners of the race.
I was able to run with Mike, Boo's godfather, which made the event even better. I know many people like to run races alone so that they can "run their own race", and if I was in top shape, I may have decided to do that as well, but yesterday, just being able to run, to run in my town surrounded by so many people that I know, (and even more that I don't know), was a real gift.
I will admit, over the last few weeks, I have seriously wondered if I would ever really be able to run again. I had to weigh the benefit over the cost. I would hurt so much after the runs I did do, that it impacted how I lived the rest of my daily life. Playing with the kids, walking around, sleeping, etc., were all painful as a result of running. My attempts to be "healthy" were not amounting to an overall health that I could accept.
For whatever reason, last weekend when I ran in Huntsville, all of my pains disappeared. Maybe it was because I ran on dirt, maybe it was just finally time to be healed, or maybe it was something bigger than myself that intervened. All I know is that I was in a fair amount of discomfort before even beginning the run and at the end of the run, all pain was gone and has not come back.
I decided to run yesterday not really to race, but to test the waters on concrete. I really expected to have the pain return, but to my great joy, it has not. And I am so grateful for that.
This is the 3rd time I have run this race. The first time, I had only been running about 6 weeks. I was insane to even consider running it, but I ran it on pure emotion. My mom had passed away the year prior to that race and I ran it in her honor (as I do all of my races). I recall many years prior to beginning running, I had envied people who could run that race. I never believed that it would be something that I could ever do. When Rick convinced me that I could run it and he would help me, I believed him. He did help me cross that finish line and I will always cherish that moment.
Last year was the second year I ran it. In spite of some nasty weather and very cold temps, I was able to run that race with a dear friend (now soon-to-be brother-in-law as of yesterday!) and finished at a pace that I was happy with.
Two weeks ago, I registered for the race not really knowing if I could run it. I knew I could probably finish the thing, but how much discomfort I would be in afterward was my primary concern. I don't mind the typical muscle aches, but stress fractures and muscle spasms that last for weeks at a time are not my idea of fun.
Running yesterday was a gift and I understand this. Why should I be able to run, to do something that brings me such personal joy? Others in this life have so many struggles and my issue is whether or not I will be running? I don't want to go to deep here, but I'm sure you can see where this leads me when I enter that classroom of silence.
I finished the race with my son's Godfather and enjoyed every step (well, ok, not the ones coming back over the 45 overpass...) My spirit was renewed and I felt reconnected with myself.


